DAMN YOU SANBOURNE!!!

I finally figured out how sanbourne has a work unit completion time of all of 24 seconds. Here is all the proof needed. Oh well, sucks that seti is prolly gonna shutdown. Sorry, Kolonay.

[8 comments]

Not your Kenny's ordinary DEW

SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER SEE IN KENNY'S ROOM:

Beverage in proper waste containers.

[3 comments]

Three Days

you don't know which page to turn to, do you?

Just so everyone knows, I get off work at 7 p.m. on Saturday. Also, I got a promotion. That's right, motherfuckers. Dave is now the Electronic Coordinator. That means I coordinate the electronics. Yes, all of them. And I get to coordinate them. Beware, my minions of ph34r b0ts will be lurking about, and I plan on recquisitioning an Army of Office Ninjas to watch guard over my precious monitors, fax machines and copiers. yes. Office Ninjas. Maybe the guys from Yatta.

I plan to do this to every computer within my domain. mwahaha.

[3 comments]

Rockstar has done it again!

Vice City is the greatest collection of 0's and 1's for the sake of entertainment...

Full review coming, but I've got more playing to do!

[4 comments]

NEWS from the frontlines

A review of the upcoming Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition DVD has been posted on IGN. Here are some quotes:

"Simply put, this is the best DVD ever made."

"The only thing that comes remotely close is the Vista Series release of Pearl Harbor."

"The Extras -
Four commentaries and two additional discs that contain over six hours worth of documentary material. This is the best DVD ever made."

Go read it here (NOTE: it is 16 pages long)

Also with the release of GTA: Vice City, Rockstar Games has put out a 7 Disc soundtrack to suppliment the game. Click here for the 411.

And as dangerous as it may sound, I see Nintendo's "Animal Crossing" becoming a real problem (addiction wise) for me in the future.

[7 comments]

Grope thy neighbor...from 3000 miles.

From the "Who Do You Want To Fondle Today?" department, two groups of scientists, in the US and Britain will "shake hands" via the internet tomorrow. According to Reuters, the technology "will use pencil-like devices called phantoms to recreate the sense of touch across the Atlantic."

In other news, Christie Turlington will give me a handjob tomorrow from her bedroom in Las Vegas.

Sanbourne finally passed Dave a few days ago in the NOTD Seti Wars. I've leaped ahead by 42 in front of Kenny, and Smiley just seems stuck at six, maybe it's just me, but he's been at six for awhile now.

[7 comments]

BUCKMINSTER IS COMING

You have been warned...

[6 comments]

Set your bagel to "Pop Tart" and wait until done

I got a toaster today, it has two settings, "Dark" and "Pop Tarts" which obviously encompass a wide array of pastries and toastable foods.

Then I ran across this, and was thoroughly afraid.

The College of Stupid Instant Messenger Conversations - You may be a lucky winner!

[7 comments]

Since I don't have a scanner, you're gonna have to imagine this is a receipt

Kroger

Kroger: The Friendly Folks

(502)452-6445
Your Cashier was AMY

Date: 10/27/02

SMIRNOFF ICE NP 13.99
Date of Birth = Tue Oct 27, 1981
CORONA EXTRA NP 7.49
TAX 0.00
BALANCE 21.48
TOTAL $ 21.48

CREDIT 21.48
CHANGE 0.00
TOTAL NUMBER OF ITEMS SOLD = 2
10/27/02 12:14am 346 4 1 55

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING KROGER

[10 comments]

jackass the movie

a full jackass the movie review is coming soon, but here's an immediate thought:

the best part of the film is when they kill and eat wee man.

[2 comments]

box o' fun

Digging thru some things I found this and this oh oh and um... this and this and also this one too, scary stuff and pool shark

[3 comments]

BISHI BASHI

While perusing and clicking through Am I Game Or Lame I found that a particular video game entitled, "Bishi Bashi Special" features NOTD's very own contributor, Kolonay.

[No Comments]

annoyingest. advertisement. ever.

this has recently been appearing on my yahoo startup page almost every visit for the last 3 days:

is there anything more annoying than irregular animation going on in some part of your screen when you're trying to type a URL?

i swear to god, i want to slap that fucking dog. STOP JUMPING! STOP! STOPPIT! STOP! STOP JUMPING! ROAR!

[No Comments]

1337 Sh0pping

*WARNING: What you are about to read is an ACTUAL POST. Yes, few and far between they may be, but the time has come. Sit back, this may take a while.

I have defeated the giant corporate conglomerate that is Best Buy. About two years ago I went into the Louisville Best Buy (St. Matthews Edition) and purchased and ATI TV Wonder VE. A nifty little PCI device that would allow me to watch and record television programs on my computing machine. The box said the operating system requirements were Windows 98 SE or Windows ME. Well I had Windows 2000. I decided to risk it, assuming ATI would have new drivers available for download on their website. I was wrong. I searched the site for a few hours and found NOTHING, so the next day I sadly took my new toy back to Best Buy (St. Matthews Edition) and got my $49.99 back. A few months...nearly a year later...I learned that ATI had finally released updated drivers for Windows 2000/XP. I would look at the device every time I ventured into Best Buy, trying to convince myself to buy it. I never did. Until today.

While visiting Best Buy (Bowling Green Edition) on my lunch break. I wondered over to the video card section to make sure they still had some ATI TV Wonder VE's in stock. Well I saw NONE. I was shocked, I had missed my opportunity. Then at the far end of the shelf, something caught my eye. There in the extreme lower right corner, was a row of TV Wonder's. They have had a $5.00 mail in rebate with them for what seems like months now. Today it had been changed to $10.00. Excellent, I could have one for only $39.99. Well As I pulled one from the shelf, I noticed the one behind it was an open box item. I had seen this one before. It used to be marked "Open box : $44.99." A mere $5.00 price cut. This was unacceptable. Today, however, it read "Open box : $39.99". AMAZING. I inquired at the customer service counter as to whether I would get the $10.00 mail-in rebate in addition to the open box price. I was told no due to the fact that for open box items a hand written receipt is used instead of the normal printed receipt. I was slightly saddened, but decided that even a new one would be the same price, and I'd have to WAIT for 8 weeks to get my rebate. So after a few moments, I had made up my mind.

I proceeded to checkout station #2, and waited in line. The small girl with the British accent scanned my soon to be possession and it rang up $49.99. I quickly pointed out the mistake, she saw it too. Since the item scanned wrong, not only would I get it at the open box price, but I would get an additional 10% off! So, she proceeded to change the price and discount 10%, making my total $35.78 before tax. WOW, I saved over $15.00. I'm awesome. So she proceeded to fill out the receipt and I had to sign, date, initial, name, pinky swear, ect. And it was done. I wrote a check, she did the little stampy thing. And I was prepared to leave...THEN, the machine started making a noise...a printing noise. MAIL-IN REBATE. I was in heaven. The $10.00 mail-in rebate receipt had indeed printed out.

So in just 8 to 10 short weeks, I will have an ATI TV Wonder VE PCI card for the low low price of $27.92; that's over $22.00 below the MSRP. Man I'm awesome.

[10 comments]

News of the minute

Yep, I picked up another new game today. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2.

I've played this game a lot on the gamecube, and it wasn't nearly as hard as this PC version. The graphics are sharper, and the controls seem just a little bit better. Still though, when I can make rediclious turns at 100+ around cars and other obstacles, the POLICE on this game are relentless. They use every tactic in the book to try and bring you down, spike strips, road blocks, the ol' "nudge" move (Where the cop turns into your back tires to knock you out of control), its all here, including helicopters that drop explosive barrells of god knows what. With several modes to play in (Hot Pursuit, Championship, etc) this game will keep me busy for a while. As if the other 10,000 games I have wouldn't.

I've also extensively watched the bonus DVD you get with the new Foo Fighters album. The videos come with dolby 5.1 mixes and also it includes a few "Super Audio" tracks without videos (Same as Dolby 5.1 or "DVD audio").

Coming up this weekend is the sure to be fun "Jackass: The Movie". I'm not sure how you could go wrong with this. I must have seen that one clip where they ride the golf cart over a sandtrap and hit the giant pig (or whatever it is) and flip the cart in reckless abandon fasion, and I've laughed every time.

Today at Best Buy I saw this sick new Sony LCD monitor. Not only was it black with a 17.1 in screen but it was WIDESCREENed. I fooled around with the resolution settings a bit and realized how nice it would be to have a 16:9 windows desktop. Also DVD playback would be great, and I think it was HDTV ready. Oh, and it cost $1000.

[1 Comment]

THIS JUST IN: Smiley is cooler than Kolonay

That's it, I yeild. You are a 1337 R0X0R C001 D00D. I bow down to your coolness. Though I aspire to be as cool as you, it will never happen... I forever give up in my quest of Smiley coolness.... Actually, maybe when I get the "smiley baby" I can learn from it the genetic secrets of being cool, but not just cool, SmileyCool....

... In other news, I, much like EVERYONE ELSE only WAY MORESO,am kicking you pathetic ass at Seti....

[7 comments]

fckng kingdom hearts!

Best game ever, but both the normal and "special secret" endings hint at a possible sequel, which is really lame (the hints, not the sequel possibility). I suppose I'd rather know either way if it's going to happen or not, at least so it's not a big question mark. Anwyays, stay tuned to NOTD on your same NOTD station, same NOTD time, for a review of this awesome game. As soon as I get over the frustration of sequel unknowingness. Grr.

[No Comments]

SMILEY loses to KENNY, DAVE gets whipped by the TOOL

SMILEY v KENNY
SMILEY v KENYA
DAVE v TOOL
Uncle Jessie v Uncle Joey
Heinz v Hunt's
Houchens v Piggly Wiggly
Kenny v Radio Shack
Duck Tales v Tale Spin - A Landslide!

[3 comments]

NEW RULES

The party on Nov. 2nd will from henceforth be known as "The Grunge Party." Attendees must dress in according apparel. Those who are not dressed accordingly will not be allowed in. Just joking. But we would seriously prefer if everyone tried to dress grunge. We already have the music picked out and whatnot. Also, the movie for the night winding down will be Reality Bites. Adieu.

[1 Comment]

5th and rising...

seti@home stats show me at #5 and closing in quickly on 4th place, with just 10 (as of 1:06am PST) results seperating the 4th and 5th tier of the rankings. I hope to be in 4th place by no less than 36 hours from now. More as news develops.

[13 comments]

I hate when this happens

You know what's even worse than having the tune to a song stuck in your head and not being able to figure out what that song is? Well I'll tell you.

Having the tune to a song stuck in your head and not being ablt to figure out what that song is and then forgetting the tune also. So now I am aware that there is a song that I neither know the tune of or the name of, but I still want to know what it is. Damn this sucks.

[5 comments]

newz of the day

Found this while perusing slashdot. Boy, those MS guys are really on the ball.

Back to the Future Preview.

[4 comments]

EVERY BODY DANCE

Yeah, so the SF Bay entertainment industry is being a dick as of late. Apparently they found out that I recently got paid, so they decided to have Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and DJ Shadow play 2 shows within 3 nights of one another in November, at various SF Bay Area locations. So it looks as though I'll be spending $45 on various concert tickets to big names at small venues.

[16 comments]

How in DE Hell?

NOTD ROCKS MAJOR SUPER ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Socks when are you going to post again?
Jeff, post again. Soon.
Kolonay? Who?

Sanbourne, I love you.

Jumping Jesus in a Carcinogen Basket.

How in DE Hell?
We look so much like DE Goddamn same.

Tell me again, tell me again.

Do do do do dooooo doooo do dooo

dododododododododododododododododododo

Something just exploded from the sky.

I can see you plain as day, you little shit, why don't you come out?

You've never seen Trading Places?

It's a really good fucking movie

Not only does it not know what you're saying, we don't care

It doesn't experience the same type of things that we as people do.

I'll get you Gadget

Today is brought to you by the number b

why don't we all make posts like a minute apart from one another?

We have de same shoes, sort of

where is the jew? i wanna meet the jew.

He had some very vomity girls to take care of

Oh, the vomity girls, they always like it in the ass.

is he still typing shit we're saying?

How in DE hell?

Because they're twins, that is how.

There is no bulb, kenny, so we're safe.

Use potaters.

It's still kind of stuck up in there.

let's go to my house to get a potato

What would you do for a klondike bar?

how many pollocks does it take to screw in a light bulb? 8

Low sweet chariots. I'm scared. Coming home for to carry me home.

that saved a wretch like me. just sit right back and hear a tale.

He found my pants.

I'm gonna take like Arabian from here on out

We can talk Cajun.

have you ever seen the special edition dvd?

on the special features one, there is a thing called Slingblade where Carl from Slingblade plays John Favreau in Swingers.

Margo, M-a-r-g-e-a-u-x

Doesn't he have french fried taters?

Dwight Yokam.

That goes for queers and retards, get the fuck out!

progressive scan and amorphic on one side of a disk with trailers and shit.

Click the bottom button.

M4 spoon is too big. My anus is bleeding.

Have you seen Jackie Brown?

I haven't seen that.

The whole 10 minute spot is hilarious.

is there a difference between the other special editions?

God, Madonna's gonna be fifty someday. How in De Hell? Who in de hell wants thirty-eight? You like to play it. Read my wallet. It says, "Bad Mudda fucka"

It looks more like me, because I'm not wearing my glasses, right?

[15 comments]

Zig Zag

From the Drudge Report
Washington police advising terrified residents to walk in a 'zigzag' fashion when outdoors to avoid the sharp shooter...

I'm sure that's what they teach spies on how to avoid assassins.

Also.. I believe it was CNN that reported military satellites were going to be used to aid in the manhunt. The real time james bondy type ones I guess.

One of my roommates just informed me that he was going to be an extra in the new Tobey McGuire movie (not Spiderman 3 or The Cider House Rules 2: More Rules). He gets somewhere in the neighborhood of 1000 dollars for like two weeks of work somewhere around the Lex. Bluegrass and such. Seabiscuit.

[14 comments]

Yes, we do worship ass here.

[17 comments]

Jeff....RUN, BUDDY!

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A giant winged creature, like something out of Jurassic Park, has reportedly been sighted several times in Southwest Alaska in recent weeks.

Villagers in Togiak and Manokotak say they have seen a huge bird that's much bigger than anything they have seen before.

MORE... Scientists aren't sure what to make of the reports. No one doubts that people in the region west of Dillingham have seen a very large rapto-like bird. But biologists and other people familiar with big Alaska birds say they're skeptical it's that big.
FULL STORY (ANCHORAGE DAILY NEWS)

In related News Of The Day, Steven Spielberg continues to leave his shit all over the place.

[14 comments]

This just in... NOTD CRACKDOWN

Yes, as you all have seen over the last few days NOTD.net has been "under the microscope", as it were, and got shut down as a result of massive, massive site downloads. You see, we here at notd.net have a 10 Gig bandwidth limit per month, which is plenty for the hits we get, and the limited media we have. However, on my own personal site (*begin plug*SMiLEY LOG*end plug*) I had a video file with the famed "Meh Spooon is TOOO BIG" cartoon. The file itself is only 6 megs in size, but combine that with 6000+ downloads and all of the sudden notd.net is SHUTDOWN. So if you see odd 509 errors showing up about overrun bandwidth, don't worry, the matter is taken care of, but the server keeps thinking it's a good idea to turn notd.net on and off at random times. We've launched an extensive investigation to find out just who posted something with a link in it to notd.net for mass downloading.

Heres some proof of notd.net getting more hits in 5 days than in a whole year:

[15 comments]

My apparently long awaited return to posting duties...

OK. So I'm going to see a Mr. Jerry SEINFELD on Nov. 1st. That's gonna be some good stuff. While waiting in line for tickets, I started talking to the people around me (There happened to be 14 people in front of me waiting for tickets; apparently he's not that popular in Indiana, but that's beside the point). I found out that the guy who plays Lex Luthor on the WB series "Smallville" is from the area and that I happened to be talking to his mom. Which was cool. I talked to Lex Luthor's mom...heh.

In other news, I am enlisting the readership of NOTD to help me on what has become an impossible task for me to complete on my own:

I want to find a CD quality version of the theme song from the classic TV show referenced to above. Now this may seem like not that daunting a task, but in my 2 years of searching, I have yet to be able to do it. All I can get is the shitty audio out rips that sound terrible. Now, as we all know, this theme was one of the most prominent of our times, and also ranks in the top 3 of the top tv show themes of our childhoods. Can anyone take on Mission:Impossible?

Another song I am looking for is the classic song from Sesame Street, "One of these things is not like the other ones". This is to be used as audio on a little video that Dave and I had planned on making way back in the waning days of summer. Unfortunately this song is nowhere to be found as well.

And one last request: have any of you ever gotten that email with the attachment about the radio station who played a prank on some girl saying they were the mechanics and all this stuff was wrong with her car, including it needing "headlight fluid" and whatnot? and do you still have it? Apparently everybody in the world has heard it, but no one ever decided to save it. I have since moved to a new hd and a new OS and have lost the email somewhere along the way. So somebody send it to me again!

Kenny likes to remove posts/comments which ridicule him, so watch out for this nazi.

[7 comments]

good to see some countries care about notd...

well it looks like our german friends finally got off their asses and redesigned the german port of NOTD, www.notd.nyet. while their redesign is merely a revamp of the previous style of the site, something is better than nothing. provided below is a thumbnail which can be clicked to view a fullsize snapshot of the german notd site. good to see that germany cares about our site design, huh kenny?

CLICK FOR LARGE

[2 comments]

8 Mile : coming sooner than you think

Snap back to reality. I'm only kidding. No one would ever rip Eminem's stuff early. That's crazy talk. No, of course I don't have the complete 8 Mile soundtrack over two weeks before its scheduled release date. What kind of person do you think I am? I would never own any type of music, or movies or softwear illegally. Shame on you for thinking I would.

[9 comments]

BREAKING NEWS

[3 comments]

NOTD sucks less than MICROSOFT, BSD, Linux, Paypal, School, Jesus, and eBay

According to a post at Slashdot...
That'd be why a search for "paypal sucks [google.com]" on Google turns up 25,000 results, right?

Oh, that's a great measure of how much something sucks. Let's see...hmm, "Linux sucks" has over 208,000 hits. Geez, it must really suck major to get that many hits.

Instant Research:
Windows Sucks: 225000 hits
Linux Sucks: 178000 hits
....
Conclusions:
....BSD's market comparisions should be based on how much is sucks. Microsoft, however, should focus more on how much it sux, since it sux only 17% more than Linux, while it sucks 26% more.

Google had the following for NOTD:
"school sucks": 15,000 hits
"jesus sucks": 837 hits
"dave is a tool": 6 hits
"notd sucks": one hit.

Therefore, NOTD sucks much less than everything.

[12 comments]

JEFF GOT TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[9 comments]

This just in from Camp AiTSU

Our spy satallites have picked up a mobilization in the "Aitsu sector". Our sources are saying that they could possibly be planning an exodus from their native land straight to the notd.net headquarters. We are prepairing by stockpiling food and rationing our water supply.

More on this story as it develops.

[5 comments]

I wish Kenny would sell his code red cans

Kevin Mitnick is selling his laptops...why won't Kenny sell his soul?

SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- Famed hacker Kevin Mitnick is hoping to make some money by auctioning off the infamous laptops he used to break into networks while he was a fugitive in the 1990s.

CNN Full Story

other

[7 comments]

Whippin up on Kenny@SETI

I'm slowly but surely gaining on Kenny's seti@home stats. What was once a 91-39 result lead, has now been more than halved, to a 118-95 lead.

Also, there is STILL a girl in my math class that looks too much like Craig Kilborn. This needs to stop immediately; it's not funny, and I'm beginning to get a complex about it.

This weekend, while I was in the r-vegas, I discovered an audio recording of myself, my sister, and others in a minivan running over a bear in the mountains. It was on the SAME interstate that NOTD took through West Virginia on our way to D.C. last year.

[5 comments]

This is the new(s)

While I was reviewing my FTP log from over night to see if anyone left me something worth looking at I ran across this:
(000072) 10/7/2002 1:58:25 AM - kenny (0.0.0.0) > finished uploading 'Nickelodeon - David the Gnome.mp3' in 'C:\iFtpSvc\SMiLEYsCOMPUTER\Upload\' - (00:00:29 - 705.612 KB - 24.331 KBytes/s).

Now then. After further review it appears that kenny tried to delete the file, or move it to another location? I then looked at some other things that has led me to believe it wasn't kenny at all who did this uploading. Namely:
(000072) 10/7/2002 1:58:25 AM - kenny (0.0.0.0) > 550 'C:\Documents and Settings\brad\My Documents\download\brza37\Nickelodeon - David the Gnome.mp3' : can't change date/time. No permission.

Yes, it was at 2AM, no way kenny could be awake. I believe this to have come from the WUSTL.

Also, for the notd.net DVD, last night I made a cover for it. Check it here

[7 comments]

new post

yeah, so the new jurassic 5 lp, "power in numbers" comes out tuesday. so get to your local music stores and purchase it tomorrow at midnight.

also, the rest of the NOTD staff need to get off they nutz and post from time to time. i've been carrying the weight of the whole NOTD on my back since last TURS DAY, with my last post (see below)

[7 comments]

sounds good to me

Iraqi Official suggests Duel between Bush and Hussein.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20021003/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq_us_17

"A president against a president and vice president against a vice president and a duel takes place, if they are serious, and in this way we are saving the American and the Iraqi people," Ramadan told the Associated Press Television Network.

[4 comments]

and then there was light

I realize that no matter how long I try to make a new layout, I'll never be fully happy with it. Perhaps I should just go back to the default Greymatter layout. You know, black and white. Text only, that sorta thing. So all you pre-mosaic web users out there can rejoice. Sound good? No tables, no frames, no format at all. Text. Top to bottom; left to right. An occasional new paragraph...if I feel like it.

[2 comments]

/. turns five, NOTD turns ???

A lot of NOTD.net readers and staff members frequent Slashdot. Today, the site turned five years old. Now, NOTD is also x many years old, and KENNY needs to figure out when NOTD.net debuted on the web under the auspices of LOGAN TELE(!) GREG HALE, Commanding.

Those were right after the pioneering days of 1995-98, when I was on Compuserve and AOL and Prodigy and IGLOU, and Sanbo[u]rn[e] and I were using SIMPLENET for Appleberry and whatever porno rag it was that Sanborn was running. Brad Clark had a jolt cola screen saver, and Smiley was installing ICQ on every computer at LCHS. I still had an Apple IIGS lying around. Matt Taylor was writing song lyrics about Shutterbug Foto, and Russellville was a buzz with the whirr of Model T's and horse-drawn carriages were lining the streets, light bulbs and indoor plumbing made their appearance at local shops, and Moses parted Lake Malone.

I think NOTD was born sometime in 1999, when the likes of myself [Highvelocity] and Brad [bradclark.net] were killing boredom by posting our own blog news sites.

But The Radical Beverage Rabbi has outlived us all.

I want free party hats and watch Sanbourne jump out of the birthday cake.

So Kenny, find a date and throw a partay.

[10 comments]