. : News Of The Day : .

Live! From the Funhouse
Posted by derek on Thursday, January 31, 2002 @ 02:58 EST

Everyone with Winamp connect to 161.6.146.97:8000 and hear the fun!

Ladies and Gents its the world's first dynamic and live post. Yes you can even hear NOTD staffers discuss new posts or changes to the site BEFORE they happen. Fun!
LIVE! 24/7! NOTD Funhouse Radio.

161.6.146.97:8000 in your Winamp location (CTRL+L)

PRESTOS MISSING PART DEUX
Posted by derek on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 @ 20:43 EST

In covert operations AITsU have retaliated in a personal matter and stolen my Prestos. If you recall, earlier this month, Kenny's prestos also vanished briefly without cause or reason. It is likely that both incidents are related.

In other news, Smiley and I came across this magical item tonite in the mall, and it is now flying combat air patrol here in the Funhouse.

Actors
Posted by dave on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 @ 17:06 EST

Apparently, according to a recent survey, 100% of Marcus Wynn's enjoy the comedy and acting stylings of Robin Williams and Julia Roberts.

Anyone Seen Hook Lately?

Side Rear View Reflections
Posted by smiley on Tuesday, January 29, 2002 @ 03:26 EST

I dunno if this is gonna work right, but here goes:

*edit*Yes Kenny got rid of the non working part, but i'm leaving the rest of the post for no reason*edit*

yes, after viewing the post on the page, it dosen't work too well with the white background.If
only kenny had kept the black. Oh well. Maybe my width will be enough for kenny to
tear the post down anyway.

The call...FINALLY
Posted by kenny on Tuesday, January 29, 2002 @ 00:58 EST

Well at around 2:30 Monday afternoon the phone rang, and they asked to speak to Kenneth. I knew right away this was not a standard phone call, and it wasn't, it was....Best Buy. Finally, after weeks of waiting I have a job interview Tuesday afternoon, which will hopefully lead to a source of income for me for the remainder of this semester. I was about to give up hope on them and was going to start going around to area Radio Shacks as early as tomorrow actually to see if any of them were hiring. Now, however, that will not happen. Best Buy has given into my internet and telephone requests for a job. I have won...well wait, they haven't actually hired me yet.

American History Silence
Posted by dave on Monday, January 28, 2002 @ 10:19 EST

I hope that everyone here has seen American History X at least once. Great story, great message, great characters... just wonderful. Possibly Edward Norton's best role [yes, even better than Tyler Durden]. Well, the SAB [Student Activities Board] played American History X in the Floyd Theatre for a dollar this weekend. Needless to say, I was there. I also took my girlfriend, and she was excited to see it from the buzz that Jimmy and I had given her.

Engaging Conversation

So we walk in; with Jimmy's roommate Jemal [jimmy couldn't go because his girl was putting the screws to his balls and he had to pick her up from work], from Morocco, who paid i might add; and the movie starts. She got a lil' upset with the violence, understandable. But when we got out of the theatre, she couldn't talk. This girl is seriously a talker. She will talk and talk; i mean, i can't tell you how many times i've been on the phone until god knows when talking to her about everything and anything. And as i'm sure everyone knows, i'm a talker, too. So i'm trying to elicit conversation about the movie, the whole way back to the car, on the way home; and she just doesn't have anything to say. I couldn't tell if she was mad at me or if it just mindfucked her that bad. Am I wrong to assume that American History X is the kind of movie that makes people talk? Did she just need more time? Of course, I had seen it before, but I distinctly remember talking about it very shortly after. The only movie that made me not talk was Fight Club, and I was tired, had a test the next day... pissed off that there wasn't more about soap. Is this a general reaction to such movies? Sure, previous girlfriends had offered no signs of engaging conversation, but they weren't very conversatory anyway. All I know is it's a damn good movie, and one to be discussed, but i can't believe that the violence and language, which was inherent to the story, closed her off to the message and rest of the movie. Any ideas?

Kenny spotted on billboard
Posted by smiley on Sunday, January 27, 2002 @ 19:11 EST

In a recent advertising scheme, kenny was featured as Logan Memorial Hospital's "poster boy". But will this help improve the hospitals' image?

INTELLIGENSIA: self-haircut identified
Posted by derek on Sunday, January 27, 2002 @ 16:08 EST

News Clippings
Posted by kenny on Sunday, January 27, 2002 @ 08:16 EST

Well I just completed my first ever self-hair cut. From what I can tell the effort was a success. I'm not completely sure since I can't see the back. But after completeion a thorough washing took place and based upon feeling alone, I'd say I got everything pretty even. My motivation for this was basicly the fact that I have to give a speec on monday in Communications, and I don't want to be wearing a hat, and for those of you that know me, if I haven't had a hair cut in over five weeks, you know I don't go anywhere without a hat on. So yes, since I doubted any hair cutting facilities would be open on Sunday, I decided to take on the task. Armed only with my Noreclo Beard and Mustache Trimmer, I went to work. At first the trimmer died quickly and I hadn't really even started. So I let it charge for half an hour and then began again. I completed about a third of my head on the right side before it died again. So I plugged it back in and played a few rounds of Counter-Strike with nearly half my hair cut. Then after about an hour of solid charging I was able to complete the tast with battery life to spare. Like I said, I think it turned out quite well, and it was of course much cheaper than going somewhere to get it done. I guess the real test will be the next time I see someone and if they say something about my crappy hair cut, then I'll have to rethink this whole thing.

Commander Kenny at the helm
Posted by derek on Saturday, January 26, 2002 @ 15:13 EST

After turning over a new leaf, Commander-in-Chief Kenny has given full authorization to his staff members to launch a fullscale assault on AITSU and other NOTD-linked factions around the internet.

Smoking his pipe and spouting off "break, breach, and clear!" counterstrike commands to his generals, the drunken Kenny gave the go ahead for Operation Extempore. He then retreating to MorbsQuarters for a little fishing.

In other developments, in addition to secret weapon "SOCKS," NOTD has successfully tested the "Bike of Doom" pictured below. This trike is driven by a race of nomadic Brads that are fearless by nature.

The Mimes are Coming to Kill Us...
Posted by dave on Friday, January 25, 2002 @ 14:38 EST

That is correct. I just saw the scariest/most exciting thing to happen on campus this semester. Two mimes/street performers/talking+reality impaired people were outside the Bingham Humanities Biulding performing. They had some sort of slow techno going on, something about like a slow Chemical Brothers song, and were doing robot style interpretive dancing to it. Quite humourous, and talented. Definitely would like to see more street performers and the such on campus. However, what people don't realize is that mimes are inherently evil. It's been proven by Mathematician's around the globe. Much like the Girls=Evil equation. So everyone is standing around the Humanities Quad watching these two guys perform, all the while i'm thinking, "just wait for these bastards to get warmed up, and then, oh no.. all hell will break loose- it'll be on the news and everything Sorority girls and they're respective Frat boys layed out to waste all over the concrete that is Belknap campus. Something has to be done."

Suffice to say, nothing happened. I stood there and waited for my heroic moment at which I would single handedly save all the hottie sorority gals from these two demons and get laid, but it never came. They finished their show, everyone clapped, including myself, and people began to head for class again. These bastards aren't done yet, though. They will be back, and I'll be there to watch them. Near as I can figure they are biding their time waiting for the moment that I do not present my watchful eye, and then !BAM!... total anarchy. However, I know mimes all to well. I will not allow them to ruin my campus. I will not! I WILL BE LAID! Aside from that it was a pretty damn good show.

True Feelings
Posted by kenny on Friday, January 25, 2002 @ 05:07 EST

The Internet was fun once. A literally endless sea of information and entertainment all packaged neatly into one little screen. In 1999 I decided that I wanted to be more than just an outside observer, I wanted to be on the inside. I started a web page. It’s changed some over the years but it’s always been about me, and my friends and what we do. In the beginning it was just I—I was the staff. I wrote, a few people read, and that was that. Eventually as I decided that it would be nice to have more than two people reading the site I decided to add some more writers, I did this and the staff currently has 6 people including myself.

In recent months certain staff members have apparently seen fit to question my decisions in my role as Webmaster. I’m not saying constructive criticism is wrong, or that I’m not willing to listen to the opinion’s of others; I am, however, I am saying that the manner in which my staff chose to react to my decisions was wrong. Frankly it was childish. I’m not going to go into any further details, I will simply say that this my website, I paid for it, I still to pay for it, and any decisions that need making will ultimately be mine as long as I continue to pay for it. Any questions or concerns that my staff or readers have are always welcomed and will always be considered.

I’m fully aware of the most recent, and current strike and I’m also aware of the demands. I have tried to negotiate will all parties involved and hope that they realize that no decision I have to make is an easy one. Several of the demands were reasonable and were addressed in a way that I saw fit. A few of the demands dealt directly with one NOTD.net reader, I’m fully aware of the feelings most of my staff feel towards this individual and I do not approve nor disapprove of these feelings. It’s not my place to tell someone how he or she should feel about another human being; nor is it anyone else’s place to tell me how I should feel. I personally don’t know this person as well as some of the other staff members do, and I certainly do not hate this individual. I do not hate anyone. I may strongly dislike someone, or strongly disagree with his or her beliefs, but hate is something that I will not be a part of.

The feelings and opinions of others have been well documented on the site in the past, and may very well continue to be in the future, and we’ll have to live with that. I’ve made my decisions. I’m moving on. If you choose to move on with me, I’ll gladly accept you. If you choose to stay behind, then stay. I want to thank everyone who feels this post means something; who will stand behind my position; who will move forward.

After Grueling Negotiations....
Posted by dave on Thursday, January 24, 2002 @ 23:08 EST

Yes, it is true; I, the Great Compromiser, have arisen from the battlefield that is strike negotiations victorious. The list of demands has been all but completely accepted in a mere matter of minutes. Whether we will see all of these demands answered in a timely fashion remains up in the air, but we should start to see some of the fruits of our hard work very shortly; as a matter of fact beginning with this post- That's right, Dave now has posting capabilities.
So the Strike isn't officially lifted however until Kenny makes his post entitled "True Feelings", but at that point we shall all lift our certain grievances and come together to work as a nice happy family.
So why am I posting if the strike isn't over? Well, this is strike news, and the best way to get it across to everyone... and of course i'm testing out the password. Kenny, I love you.

*STRIKING*

STRIKE
Posted by scott on Thursday, January 24, 2002 @ 21:17 EST

mmm... A Beer GPS
Posted by blade on Thursday, January 24, 2002 @ 09:50 EST

THIS IS GENIUS!

I don't know what's better, beer or the beer finder. Only time will tell...

The Million Dollar Idea...
Posted by blade on Thursday, January 24, 2002 @ 09:40 EST

I'm telling you guys, we could so make a fortune off this shit!!!

Word.
Posted by jeff on Tuesday, January 22, 2002 @ 16:33 EST

Letters from the front
Posted by derek on Monday, January 21, 2002 @ 14:57 EST

Reporting from the Lexington front, the war with AITsU continues. Yesterday, seventeen AITsU cattle and other assorted sects of the AITsU tribe were seen fleeing from an artillery position just outside of Patterson Office Tower. POT is a known haven for AITsU rebels, ever since a communique was intercepted that contained the phrase, "Patterson Office Tower is for pussies." It is known from two intelligensia sources that this intercept was from one AITsU tribe leader "b33bs." The following image was intercepted at the header of the communique, with "b33bs" using his alias "beebs."

DEVELOPING HOT...

Operation BHD debriefing:
Posted by kenny on Saturday, January 19, 2002 @ 20:41 EST

Operation: BHD
Status: completed
Results: stunning.

The operation was successful. Blackhawk Down is hands down one of the best movies I've ever seen. People you have got to see this movie. Very few movies have kept me as interested for their entire length as this one did. I'm ready for it to come out on DVD because I want to watch it again. I want to own this movie. Perhaps my love for Counter-Strike has contributed to my love of modern-era war movies, but the action and reality portrayed by this feature make it very addictive. That is all for now. Go see this movie, trust me, it's worth it.

late night visitors in funland
Posted by derek on Friday, January 18, 2002 @ 12:47 EST

Well since the snow came the whole campus has turned into magicland. On the way back from the Ville last night, Smiley and I encountered snow monsters, and snow monster-killing devices. Colonial-style snowball fights have also popped up.

Around 4am this morning, a local sleepwalker came into the room and tried to pull Smiley out of "his" bed. After telling this guy repeatedly that this is not his room he finally realized it and took off running. Either I forgot to lock the door or it was an apparition looking for the Canty Twinkie that's still on our wall.

Nonetheless, NOTD function project: BLACKHAWK DOWN should take place tonight in Grand Rapids, MI. Otherwise, I'll be appearing LIVE in Lexington.

News from Craiggers...
Posted by kenny on Thursday, January 17, 2002 @ 14:20 EST

Talk about an interesting week in Hollywood! I’ve just read about reports that Jay and Silent Bob star Jason Mewes (Jay) may be going to the big house pretty soon. Mewes, who was arrested for possession of heroine and let out on probation, was supposed to have made an appearance in court, but didn’t show up. So now the police have a warrant for his arrest, and as lovable as the guy is, I doubt he’s going to get the Robert Downey Jr. treatment. That is to say, he won’t get to go to a nice little resort to beat back the ‘addiction’, but will most likely go to a nice little jail cell to beat back a large man (named Silent Bob coincidentally) who has the kind of urge that can’t be satisfied with Herbal Essence alone. Ouch. Good thing Kevin Smith closed out the Jersey chronicles when he did.

The Amazing Disappearing Kenny, Part Deux
Posted by jeff on Thursday, January 17, 2002 @ 00:33 EST

It seems as if our illustrious president and founder has come under attack amidst inter-domain warring among associates of notd and aitsu. Apparently in retaliation for the recent attempts to sabotage aitsu, they have comandeered the kenny and are holding him in unknown and hostile territory as insurance that their domain space is well protected. One notd.net official, who will remain anonymous, was rumored to have kenny's final muffled yelp on their answering machine and are holding it as material evidence should this case ever go to trial.

To the culprits: we will find you and seek you out of those caves you are hiding in and put an end to the blatant disruption of kenny's normal habitat in the lou hall.

Or, this could all possibly be the result of the burger king's 49c cheeseburger, which causes kenny to violently react to the point that 3 cop cars, 1 ambulance, a few campus police, and even a firetruck were rushed to his aid the last time he was accosted by such an unwelcome reaction. This time we may not be so lucky...I only pray that with Louisville not having to spend $313 million on a new arena for the New Orleans Hornets, the city will be able to pay for the same amount of city and university officials needed to properly treat such an affliction.

AITsU Roundup
Posted by smiley on Wednesday, January 16, 2002 @ 17:37 EST

Reports coming in across the wire this afternoon state that the remaining members of AITSU have been rounded up and are being taken to an undesclosed location. This news comes after the main headquarters was bombed on Monday. Apparently word got to the leaders of the rebel group and they narrowly escaped impending doom.

When question about the whereabouts of the leaders of AITSU notd.net responded with this, "We have a new secret weapon codenamed S.O.C.K.S. and it will be employed in finding the final remaining AITsU members."
Notd.net also stated that if you see this marking (shown in photo) to call the proper authorities.

bitches, you're grammaring no one
Posted by scott on Tuesday, January 15, 2002 @ 23:26 EST

beat my 8/9.

http://encarta.msn.com/quiz/quiz.asp?quizid=51

moodstats
Posted by derek on Tuesday, January 15, 2002 @ 18:05 EST

k10k hasn't updated yet, BUT they're pushing "moodstats" now. It's a program that records everyone's moods and compares them with THE UNIVERSE. It sounds gay at first, but it's seriously addicting. The only problem is that you have to pay 15 bucks to submit your moodstats.

News from Craiggers.
Posted by kenny on Tuesday, January 15, 2002 @ 15:22 EST

Hey guys, it’s NOTD’s own movie man Craiggers, here with some shocking news. I have recently found out that director Ted Demme has passed away. Apparently he suffered a heart attack while playing a celebrity basketball game. Everyone here should know his work in the recent Johnny Depp movie Blow, as well as his previous movies The Ref, Snitch, and Who’s The Man. This came as a shock to me because Demme is so young (only 38), and his career was just beginning. I absolutely loved The Ref (a comedy starring Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey), and Blow was really cool as well. So I would like to take a moment say that our hearts here at NOTD go out to Ted’s friends and family, and that we enjoyed his work and had looked forward to more.

A new day begins...
Posted by smiley on Monday, January 14, 2002 @ 23:27 EST

After months of failed peace talks Notd.net finally took action against long-time rebel enemy forces codenamed AITSU. Surveillance photos (shown here) display the effects of notd.net bombing raids over their compound located somewhere in Ohio.

President Bush was quoted as saying, "Thank goodness that evil menace was finally cleaned off the face of the Earth."
He later went on to declare January 14th as AITSU riddence day. Ticker-tape parades were soon sparked all across the country.

STRIKING HALTED
Posted by derek on Monday, January 14, 2002 @ 23:04 EST

mrduffy2002 (9:47:22 PM): Okay, after conferring with the senate, on grounds of full stature, and pistons, the diferring NOTD staff members have decided to cease all striking.
trakkerm (9:47:58 PM): on what grounds?
trakkerm (9:48:03 PM): pistons?
mrduffy2002 (9:48:17 PM): Kenny, we're stopping the strike.
trakkerm (9:48:20 PM): oh, ok
trakkerm (9:48:33 PM): lol, i just wondered what the pistons thing meant?
mrduffy2002 (9:48:42 PM): Ask SOCKS
trakkerm (9:48:42 PM): did smiley use one of his made up words again?
trakkerm (9:48:49 PM): socks...that bastard

Crazy People
Posted by kenny on Monday, January 14, 2002 @ 21:25 EST

Well I'm sure many of you have realized the severe lack of posting by the staff here at NOTD. There's a fairly stupid reason for this. They're on strike. Why are they on strike you may be asking, well it's because I made the earth-shattering decision to host another website. That's right, I decided to be generous with something that I own. What the hell could I have been thinking?!? It's been reported to me that the staff will end the strike when one of the following two demands has been met: 1. I stop hosting AITSU, or 2. AITSU fire cake. Well the second one, is more of a joke than anything, but apparently Smiley doesn't like cake. I will not however stop hosting AITSU, I happen to like them, and therefor as long as I contine to pay the bills, I will continue to host them. That's how it's going to be, like it or not.

Poetry: by Dave
Posted by kenny on Saturday, January 12, 2002 @ 00:13 EST

An Ode to Cheetos

Cheetos; mysteriously cheesy
Not melted or greasy
How do you stick to that corn?
Doritos; the ranch kind
Fuckin' A what a find!
How can you be zesty and cool?
Now on to the nacho cheese
I'm askin you please
Same as the cheetos
What the fuck makes you stick to the corn?
Fritos; what's wrong with you?
Do the other chips have something new?
No flavors, no taste; just corn what a waste
How come the cheese dont' like you?
Ruffles: Ok, who eats this without dip?
No wonder they put ridges in chips
Flavor is good, bland is not
Like a potato that isn't even hot.

T&A
Posted by kenny on Friday, January 11, 2002 @ 19:05 EST

Check it out.

red army vodka
Posted by blade on Friday, January 11, 2002 @ 01:15 EST

The Job Hunt
Posted by kenny on Thursday, January 10, 2002 @ 18:04 EST

OK, so it's not much of a hunt, since I only really want to work at Best Buy, which is where I just returned from. I had intended to go ask about a getting a job there. You see they have this small kiosk when you walk in the door that has the available jobs posted on it, right now there are about 6 little cards with the job title and description listed on them. Sunday there were three. You see that's when I first went there, last Sunday. I looked at the board for about 5 minutes, read all the jobs, and then it said to apply go to such and such website, or call this phone number. So I left the store and came back to the dorm and got on the internet and went to the site. I filled out some personal info, and answered some questions and it said they would call me with further information. Well as of yet I have recieved no call. So I went back today and asked the guy at the front counter what I would need to do if I was interested in getting one of the now 5 jobs listed, did I need to speak to a manager, or was there an application I could fill out. He hands me this little card with the website and phone number on it saying it's all done electronically and that after doing it they would call me. Right so I said thanks and left. If I don't get a call by monday I'm going back, and I'm not leaving til they hire me.

Posted by derek on Thursday, January 10, 2002 @ 02:18 EST

the many faces of sanborn
Posted by derek on Wednesday, January 9, 2002 @ 01:52 EST

courtesy google image search

um
Posted by derek on Tuesday, January 8, 2002 @ 15:35 EST

what in the hell is this device exactly?!?!?!?!?!

More proof that Google is God
Posted by derek on Monday, January 7, 2002 @ 21:22 EST

I stole this from /. and Salon...what seems to be the oldest USENET article online, and Google has it archived, as well as a lot of other stuff from 1981-90. It's a post to what looks like some kind of Arpanet newsgroup. Sifting through old newsgroups is fun! If I find something interesting I'll post it. Hail the Goog!

Various important posts over the years, including the brand new station "MTV," the new soda "New Coke" and the first mention of the Y2K problem (originally posted in 1985).

iMac 2002
Posted by derek on Monday, January 7, 2002 @ 16:55 EST

While we're still anxiously waiting the Powerbook G4's from Apple, we now can't wait to get our rushed shipment of the new iMac's. Now only if Apple would license their hardware design department to other companies... Apple.com/iMac

PRESTOS: MISSING
Posted by kenny on Sunday, January 6, 2002 @ 23:59 EST

Have you seen these shoes???

This pair of Nike Air Trainer Escape's, size XL is MISSING.
If you see them please email me immediatly!!!

Stupid People
Posted by kenny on Sunday, January 6, 2002 @ 15:20 EST

I hope this was just an accident.

I hope that all the images of terrorism recently are not influencing people to do things such as this. This was one of three small aircraft crashes this weekend. Reports indicate that they were not related to each other nor are they suspected terrorist acts. I hope not.

OH MY GOD!!
Posted by kenny on Friday, January 4, 2002 @ 01:24 EST

Let me begin by directing you all to visit the Greatest Web Site Ever.

Now, I have a request for you all. I ask very little of our loyal readers...unlike SMiLEY...but that's beside the point. If someone will buy me this, I will be their slave for a week. Well, ok, slave for a day. Let's go people, show me some love.

Posted by blade on Friday, January 4, 2002 @ 01:00 EST

Posted by blade on Friday, January 4, 2002 @ 00:34 EST

Welcome back, ladies and gents
Posted by jeff on Thursday, January 3, 2002 @ 20:13 EST

Ah, yes. It feels quite good to be living in style with the T1 in full effect. Yes, that's right; come one, come all back to the dorms for spring semester. What's that you say? not supposed to be here yet? well i guess they up and changed the rules on us. or maybe they just didn't feel like telling anybody that everything was open again. I came up to school today and the entire parking lot around the SAC (student activities center to all you non 'ville-ites) was full with cars and there were people walking around all over the place. I thought classes had already started and I was late or something for a minute there. This is what enticed me to go to the dorm and check out the 'able to get into' situation in the first place. So here I am. But they tell you to unplug everything and turn off your heat so the maintenance people can come in and 'check things out', whatever that means. what they don't tell you is that for some idiotic reason they turn ON the heat. So this whole dorm is 98.6 degrees, the same as a sweltering jungle. I was able to rectify the situation in my room but I have a feeling that there are going to be some hot sons of bitches come saturday and sunday up in the lou hall.

who's a jigga whaaaa
Posted by derek on Wednesday, January 2, 2002 @ 02:31 EST

First of all....SLACKERS!!!!!!

Anyway I came across a 1-liter of "Pibb Xtra" tonight. It's a slightly cherrier version of regular Mr. Pibb, but the sugar content is insane, as I am wired for a couple of days now methinks. Although some people are bitching, because Mr. Pibb is being phased out by Coca-Cola, in all honesty it's not that much different than the new Pibb Xtra. Probably "New Coke" all over again...

HEY IT'S 2002!!
Posted by kenny on Tuesday, January 1, 2002 @ 03:08 EST

What were Smiley, Derek, and I doing when the clock struck midnight, well of course we were playing ping-pong. We visited about three or four parties. It was fun. I'm tired. Byron is NOT in jail, don't worry, he was one of the select few who was not arrested at the party he was at. He called smiley and said to him, "don't come over, it's hot." Cops were everwhere. At party number 1 and 3 cops sirens went by the house every five minutes or so. And the town square was lit up in red and blue. Crazy times. Well at least the world didn't end. I guess I'll get to live at least one more year.