In The Year 2000:

After Hillary looses her senate race, the Clintons sell their suburban New York home. The ad reads: five bedrooms, four bathrooms and one secret tunnel to Hooters.

(From: Late Night with Conan O'Brian)

In The Year 2000:

A brave Britney Spears will travel to Chechnya in an attempt to convince warring Chechens and Russians that her breasts are real.

(From: Late Night with Conan O'Brian)

In The Year 2000:

Men will actually begin desiring women who have great personalities. In a related story, breasts will be renamed 'personalities.'

(From: Late Night with Conan O'Brian)

In The Year 2000:

''Spanking the Monkey'' will no longer be a euphemism for masturbation, but for disciplining your pet monkey.

(From: Late Night with Conan O'Brian)

Another weekend is upon us, and once again I have returned home to enjoy it, and of cours this is not your standard weekend...it's Labor Day weekend, woo-hoo and extra day of no calculus, that's all that matters to me. I actually came home yesterday a little after noon time, and basically did nothing, then around 6:30 I went to Bowling Green with Steff and Audrey (maybe that's how you spell it...I'll find out for sure later), that was very fun. We went to dinner, then went to Target--who by the way was completely out of cable splitters, the nerve of those people--then we went to wal-mart--who by the way was NOT out of cable splitters--and Steff and I bought some stuff, it was quite amazing, that cable splitter that costs like $2.97, ended up costing me $42, yeah, I found some other things that I just knew I couldn't live with out, and you know how that is. But while we were in Wal-Mart we did various other fun things,,...we took pictures, and we lost Steff, and we listened to long pointless stories told by complete strangers, yup, lots of fun. After that we went to Barnes & Noble so Steff could buy a Journal thingy....which she didnt' buy because she spilled some frappachino foam or something on her shirt and was too embarassed to go up to the check-out counter, so then we left there and went to Sonic, where we sat outside on a little bench thingy and managed to sing along with practically every song they played, and that was fun...we stayed there for a long time. Then we came back to Russellville and went to Steff's house first to see if my car was working...oh yeah, I was supposed to drive, but after we got in the car--after I had just driven to her house--it wouldnt' start...and I thought it might be the battery or the alternator...but while we were in bowling green, I had a charger on the battery, and it wouldn't start at all...so I have no idea what's wrong, and at this very moment, my car is still sitting in her driveway...so after a failed attempet to get my car started, we went to Smiley's house where he an Byron had just finished watching a movie...we watched some DVD clips...and chased potential vandals around the neighborhood with aluminum bats...it was fun.

In The Year 2000:

A pill will be developed that allows men to get pregnant, but they will all die in childbirth because they don't have vaginas.

(From: Late Night with Conan O'Brian)

In The Year 2000:

The U.S. Mint will stop releasing commemorative quarters from all fifty states, after Illinois decides it would be funny to rearrange the letters in E PLURIBUS UNUM to spell PENIS LUBRUUUM.

(From: Late Night with Conan O'Brian)

Well, I went home this weekend, well, at least half of it. I left on Friday at about 12:30, Jahn went with me, we stopped @ WKU because I needed to see a couple of friends there, then after about an hour of visiting, we continued on to Russellville, where we proceded to head for RHS so he could see Kayela, then I took them to her house...then I was finally able to do something...lol...I went back to school and talked to Mrs. May about the calculus here, then I went home, and installed my new 4x6 infinity speakers which came that day. That night I went to the football game, which Rville lost, 14-13...but they did well against Franklin Simpson. I watched the band march at half time...and they did very well...like mid-season performace well, I was surprised. Then I left to come back to UofL at about 3:00PM yesterday, and I got back up here...and basically had nothing to do...I think I should have spent another night at home...I think the only reason I didn't was that I just don't want to feel like I'm the kind of person who go's home every chance they get...oh well, not that I regret coming back up here...it's just that it didn't really make a differnce either way I guess...oh well, I am going home this coming weekend since it's Labor Day weekend, and most of the people here will be going. I'm trying to get an internet service here in Louisville, becuase this AOL crap is driving me crazy, everytime I connect to the internet, I get disconnected about 10-15 minutes later, hopefully after I have all of that squared away, that situation will get better. I think I've said just about enough for now, so I'll call it quits for today.

It definitly feels good to start posting on here again, I honestly can say that I missed it. I also missed ICQ and talking to all my friends--but also, college is great, I did have some phone problems to begin with which is why it has taken me so long to finally connect to the net...this is my 6th day here, and it's the first time I've been able to connect to the net from my room, that's quite an achievement if I do say so my self. All my classes are going good--the calculus started off very fast, but has since slowed down a bit, and the think that i hate about that is the fact that the first day they bomb you with problems of all sorts, and you just sit there thinking...what in the hell have I gotten myself into--and the thing is, the professors know that 95% of the people in the class are thinking that...the way I figure, they go home at night and laugh about it...heck if I were them I would. As I said however, it's going quite well now, and I think I'll do ok..in all my classes.

Well, I just packed up my computer to take with me tomorrow, so I'm doing this from my parents comp--which is why there is a lack of visual aid with this post...I just don't feel like looking for something. I packed most of my clothes and stuff a little while ago, and mom packed a bunch of "stuff" so I guess I'll be ok--at least for the first week--I'm not sure exactly when I'll be connected to the internet at UofL so this may be my last post for a while, but don't worry, as soon as I can, I begin again. Yesterday marked an event in my life which will stand as a landmark even for all of eternity, I recieved a postcard inviting me to aquire a subscription to Playboy. What can I say, I am now truly a college man. Of course everything always looks better than it really is, it said you could get 12 issues for $12--I know what you're thinking--too good to be true--well, you're right. In very small print at the bottom of the card it said *Plus $2.98 shipping charges* So in reality, each issue cost almost $4 as compared to $4.95 at newstands everywhere. Still a deal?..yes.; A great deal?..not really.

There comes a time in everyone's life when it's time to move on, my time is Friday--3 days from now I'll be Living in Louisville, and so it occured to me a little while ago that I should probably start packing. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow, or more likely what will happen is that I will procrastinate and wait until Thursday night...and probably a bit more on Friday morning. Hmm...I think that's all I'm gonna write for now, I'm kinda bored and tired at the same time...and this just isn't very appealing right at the moment.

Yeah, that's pretty much my motto--buy stuff...lots of stuff...stuff you don't really need is the best kind. For exaple: I went to Bowling Green yesterday and spent about $80 on things I don't really need, my list o' stuff included the folowing: foldable headphones-bought to fit in a side pocked of my backpack; a tiny phone- bought because I saw it and knew I had to have it; 2 CD's- bought because I wanted them; 2 headlights- bought because I wanted them, neiter of mine were burned out...but these are better so I figured I better get them; phone splitter-ok this was probably the only legit purchase of the day so I can hook two things up to one wall phone jack. So there you have it...I spent $80 and only $3 could be seen as worth-while--I did good!

"I want to beat up photographers who catch me in hotel lobbies with Winona Ryder. I want to be implicated in vicious rumors about Drew Barrymore's sex parties. And, finally, I want to be pronounced DOA in a small, tired LA hospital after doing speedballs with Matt Damon. I want it all. I want the American dream.

P.S. All you have to do is find something you're good enough at to make a million dollars and find it before you're twenty-five."

- Michael Holloway

I'm still cleaning...and it's really pissing me off...I have so many little crappy things that I dont' want to throw away, I'm about to just throw it all in a box and put it in the attic...

The speaker situation isn't getting much better either...I did get another email from him saying that he did send me the shipping total back on the 3rd...but I never got that email, so then I tell him I'll use a credit card and pay with paypal...and he tells me he accepts credit cards, but not through paypal...WTF?!? so I said..whatever, I'll just send a money order, so he's like ok...but he never gave me his address, so I have no clue where to send it. I could have had the damn speakers by now if he had just told me his address and the shipping total to begin with. Did I ever mention that I send the very first email telling him my address and asking for the shipping total...ugh..I swear, some people!! But the sad thing is...in the end...if and when I finally get my speakers and have to leave feed back for him...I'll probably give in and leave positive feedback...even though I'm soo pissed off right now--it's just the way I am I suppose.